feeling vs logic

Tonight I'm thinking about the oddity of physically being in one place, but your thoughts, emotions, a part of your world, all is happening elsewhere. Some where far, but not foreign. Sometimes foreign, falling and flowing as a stream of thought, but a stream unleashed and moving so quickly, and watching from a far, all you can do is reflect and feel. All the "what ifs" that can rob you of your sleep at night if your not careful. Then the thoughts of just letting all be as it is to be and trusting in that. I finally reached a point of not going down that 'what if' path...it really hasn't been a collection of thoughts I've chewed on for some time, I now realize. I think that is part of why San Francisco has been such a difficult place for me. The magnificence of the turning point that it was and has been, it was the boldest leaving I ever went through with hopes of something new. And although it took some time passing for me to question my move, in time i began to realize the hugeness of this choice made. My whole life changed. Nothing has been the same since. It didn't get worse, just different. It may have been a saving grace of sorts. I am inclined to think of it like this otherwise there is the potential danger of going back to the emotions surrounding that choice and the thoughts of you I left behind. Time passing seems to be the best thing so far, but i know it's always just thought, a flight away to go there. If i had to describe the full intensity of it in words, I could. I won't though because there would be no rhyme or reason to it and it's done and over now. The point has become a non point. This was a break though for thrusting my thought and future way beyond you. It has been the strangest thing, but good and needed.

I met a person that inspired me to write and reminded me about feeling again. Some where along the way I became so logical. I like both, in good balance. It's just a lot to think about sometimes.

back again

i'm once again sitting in the san francisco airport. thinking about wheels. it's early, and i'm feeling strange. i'm not looking forward to an entire day of travel. traveling back east always takes all day, often a full 12-24 hours before finding my way into the the restfull comfort of my own bed...wheels. i left indiana late monday, and was thinking about all the wheels that have been of significant presence in my life since. first the wheels of my civic on my way to pick up the bus. then the wheels of the bus, that after three days of intense driving brought me to san diego, three good and one randomly flat upon my arrival. then the wheels of the taxi that took me to the airport in san diego...and the wheels for take off and landing. then my moped and another taxi, my moped again, the taxi to sfo and here i am waiting on some wheels to take me to chicago, then those on the train that will take me to south bend where i'll eventually ride home by the wheels of a car. so many wheels in my life. except for my moped, i'm kinda sick of wheels actually, but appreciate them, of course, non the less. i feel like i'm always moving and never home. it's interseting to think of all the devices that support this constant movement. technology, good walking shoes, good books and music (to keep me sane), tea, warm welcomes and smiling faces after a long haul, and of course wheels. there's a whole bunch more i'm sure, but i'm a whole lot more tired than to elaborate at length right now. i'm so tired, it's 5:00am and i left the the house to head to the airport at 3:30am. i had a fantastic weekend in sf and have a lot to get back to..life just got all busy again, all of a sudden. another photo shoot early tomorrow morning and an interview to finish up and then thanksgiving will be here. i'm looking forward to something, it's not the snow and it might not be today. and now i gotta jet (literally)